There are many feelings that you will go through when someone passes away.  This could be anything from sadness, right through to a sense of relief, especially if the person had been suffering from ill health, and everything in between.

When death first occurs, it is sometimes difficult to know exactly what to do.  Even though people die every day, it is not every day where you will have to deal with it, so I have put together this useful little guide to help you through.

Different things happen, depending on where the person died.

If this is at home, the first thing you need to do is contact your local GP, or after hours service and they will send a Doctor who will confirm that death has occurred and who will issue a death certificate (although you may need to call in to the surgery to collect this).

If the person died in hospital, the attending Doctor, whose care the person had been in, will confirm death and issue the death certificate.  Most hospitals now have a ‘bereavement office’ from which you can collect the certificate and they can also advise on what to do next.

The death certificate will show time and place of death as well as the cause of death.

For unexplained or sudden deaths, these are reported to the local Coroner, who will issue the death certificate when all investigations have taken place.

At this stage you can then call the funeral director of your choice, although some directors operate under contract with local hospitals and will be contacted directly.  You have the right to choose which Funeral Director you wish to use to take care of the arrangements, but please make sure to give them my name and number as the Celebrant you wish to use to work with you to arrange the service you wish to celebrate that person’s life.

The death must be registered with the local registry office to where the death occurred and most offices operate a booking system which allows you the time to ensure it is done correctly.  The person registering the death can be a close relative of the deceased, a relative that was in attendance during their last illness, a relative living in the district where the death occurred or someone present at the time of death. The registrar will need the full name of the deceased and the date and  place of death.  They will also need to know the date and place of birth, current or previous occupation and the deceased’s home address.  If the deceased was married at the time of death the full name, occupation of the surviving spouse is also required.

When registered, the registrar will issue a certificate for burial or cremation.  This is on green paper and needs to be passed onto your chosen funeral director (additional copies of the death certificate can be purchased to help deal with the personal affairs of the deceased such as bank accounts etc).

Working closely with your chosen Funeral Director, as the celebrant, my role is to take you, family and friends through the process of ensuring that the chosen service (burial or cremation) is conducted to the highest of standards and to ensure a professional, yet personal celebration of life event is conducted.

When you first contact me.

I will go through some of the above to ensure you have done all that is required to register the   death.  This will also be checked by the Funeral Director.  From this initial contact, I will arrange a personal visit to come and  discuss your needs for the service you want to give for the deceased.  This could include any instructions the deceased had left in the event of their death.

I will ask you to start and think about any specific memories you have, tales to tell and which music you would like during the service and whether you want a  Christian, non-religious ceremony or a mixture of   both.  Please also think about whether or not, anyone would like to say something themselves about the deceased such as a story or reading so that I can factor this into the time we have available for the service.  All of this, as well as my gathering more details about the deceased helps me to create the service you want, the way you want.

Leading up to the service.

We have some of the finest funeral directors in the Country, here in South Yorkshire and whichever one you choose, they will help guide you through, all aspects of the funeral service including the type of funeral (burial or cremation) and arranging for you to be able to spend time with the deceased in the chapel of rest.  They will also arrange with you, where the funeral is to take place and to ensure that your loved one is dealt with the upmost respect at all times.

On the day of the service.

Your funeral director will ensure that your loved one is transported carefully to the place of service which is where I will meet you.  My role then is take you through the service, following the plan that we had discussed during our visit and any subsequent visits or phone calls.  When the service is ended, your Funeral Director will take the lead again and guide you to where you need to be, whether that be back home or to a venue where you are conducting your ‘wake’, subject to the arrangements made with them.

A few days after the service, I will give you a courtesy call, just to see how you are doing and if I can be of any further help or support.  Grief is a very real emotion and the funeral process is just one part of you dealing with a sad situation.  If you are struggling and would like help now, please check out the details below to independent organisations that could offer you some help and advice.

24 hour Support Lines

Samaritans 0116 123 (UK) Support for anyone at anytime and for any reason

Childline 08001111 Support for individuals and families for concerns about anyone under the age of 18 years.

Silverline - 08004708090Support for individuals and families for concerns about anyone over the age of 50 years.

Sudden Bereavement Helpline - 0800 2600400

Immediate support between 10am and 4 pm Monday – Friday

National Bereavement Partnership Helpline

0800 4480800

Emotional Support between 7am and 10pm

Cruse

08088081677